Nov
28
Decorating our home (& husband’s feelings)?
Question by dandelion: Decorating our home (& husband’s feelings)?
I’m bummed. We have a beautiful home and have purchased very nice pieces of furniture. I have been planning, coordinating & decorating- you know, the way wives do. Then, my husband pulls out all the (nicely) crap that he’s accumulated throughout life. Toy trains, tiny sports & jet figurines, elementary school trophies, rubiks cube puzzles, plaques. And believe me, it’s not real collectors items, rather things he showcased on his dusty dresser for years. He jokingly put them up on our new furniture, and I rolled my eyes and made him pack them away in a “sentimental keepsake box”. Then returns with a new box of random stuff that I think he is halfway serious about displaying.
I don’t want to take away his identity, or hurt his feelings. I too have special things, but prefer to have grown up decor & office accessories on my desk. Home design usually limits small gadgety pieces. He’s put me in a tough spot. How do I politely keep it looking nice?
He’s also very proud of high school woodshop projects. Don’t get me wrong, the coffee table, bread bread box and desk he made show his talent, but they are nothing fancy. I feel like a horrible witch for not displaying them with our home decor. I’m no Martha Stewart, just a very simple Target decorator, but it is very tasteful. Again, I have many art projects I can’t even believe I did, but there just isn’t a place for it in our home…Is it sooo bad that I don’t prefer to use the old sentimental stuff. I just love to decorate, it’s what makes me tick! An old coffee table in oak just doesn’t compliment or match our new furniture.
Best answer:
Answer by suellenh
Ooohhh…you’ve got it worse than I do, much worse. I’m glad you’ve got your husband and I’ve got mine. However, perhaps you’d like to rent mine for a while – he breaks stuff, and this might be useful to you…my motto about my husband is “if it can be broken, he will break it.” Hahaha.
Give your answer to this question below!
November 28th, 2011 at 12:35 pm
Use a piece or two in a room as “accent”
Have him display his mass array of stuff in the basement! Men like to have their “guy room”
Use his toy trains on a book shelf as end pieces.
Rubiks cube on the coffee table.
With his tiny sports and jet figurines, ask if you could make it into a table! I saw on TLC once, they used a table with an inch thick deep set. They placed the figurines in and poured a clear coat over. It turned out pretty cool. A good table for a basement coffee table! (for his Guys Room)!
November 28th, 2011 at 12:51 pm
My husband has his things in the house as I do. I have more than he, but I can’t tell him no. It’s his house to. My house isn’t perfect anymore. But my house is comfortable and it has love. That’s what’s more important to me.
November 28th, 2011 at 1:11 pm
Can you give him a room for his stuff? Maybe the basement or the attic can be finished. He needs a “man room” for his own things. Explain to him that decorating the house is up to the woman. His domain is the car. Good luck.
November 28th, 2011 at 1:59 pm
Ask him if he would like to redo or finish the basement, which ever is relevant. Letting him do this will show of some more of his talent and you could let him display a lot of his stuff just make sure it’s not to tacky.
Good Luck
Moskie257
November 28th, 2011 at 2:06 pm
If he has his own office, that’s where they can go. Your art pieces can go in your office. If not your office, then display your work/art so everyone can see it. You can move away from “Martha” for some special pieces. Not everything has to match. It’s a good thing to mix it up a little.
Home design can also include some of the things you have collected over the years. Most people have collections of some sort which should be displayed for their enjoyment.
If there’s room, get a small (or a size you can agree on) glass display case and let him have a go at it. He needs to be able to contribute some of his things too.
You both need to come together and relax about home design. Too much perfection can be over done too.
The rest is between you and your husband. Good Luck!
November 28th, 2011 at 2:07 pm
No matter HOW tacky stuff is, there IS a tasteful way to display it — you just have to be creative.
I assume that there is no basement, attic or office… If there IS, any one of these rooms should be turned over to HIM for his own use and to display his things. Help him fix it up, make it as important to YOU as it is to him.
If there is NO ‘extra’ room for him, I suggest you buy as big a bookcase as you can and put it in your bedroom. Let this be the place for ‘his’ stuff. Dust everything off, group like things with like — don’t be afraid to let the groupings be crowded but there should be space on the shelves BETWEEN the groupings.
If there just isn’t enough room for everything, buy a bin that fits under the bed. Keep the extra stuff there and tell him he can switch things out periodically and help him do it.
If you have an office or desk somewhere, pick out a few of the nicer things and display them on the desk.
Perhaps you can use the coffee table in the bedroom? Set up a reading nook and put the table there?
I’m sure that by being creative and sensitive to his wants, you will come up with a solution. Good luck!
November 28th, 2011 at 2:47 pm
That is so cute, well i understand I’m the same way where do they find theses things just tell him the way you just told us or make him watch some decorating shows which he will run from its hard to say give in a bit but not to much or give him one room in the house to experiment with good luck I’m still trying to train mine!